


Secret Santa Shenanigans

by NotEvenCloseToStraight



Series: Christmas Fics! [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, First Date, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Happily Ever After, Hooking up, M/M, Sam Wilson is So Done, Secret Santa, Stucky - Freeform, Stucky is Goofy, Terrible Presents, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, Workplace Relationship, Workplace Sex, because christmas, getting drunk, stuckony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-25 01:48:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17112152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotEvenCloseToStraight/pseuds/NotEvenCloseToStraight
Summary: "Course we want you to be with us, Tony." Bucky winked at him. "It's HO HO HO, not HO HO, right? Three's a party.""You mean three's a crowd." Steve corrected. "That's the saying. Three's a crowd.""It's only crowded if we don't have a big enough bed." Bucky countered. "But there's always the floor.""For fucks sake." Steve burst out laughing and grabbed Bucky in for a kiss. "It's a good thing you're so hot.""Both of you shut up and kiss me again." Tony interjected. "I'm not holding mistletoe because I like the way it looks, put this thing to good use!"***************************It's Christmastime and the perfect time for Steve to admit that he's ready to move from "booty call" to "boyfriend" with Bucky, the perfect time for Bucky to admit he is probably sort of in love with Steve, and the perfect time for them both to finally tell Tony that they definitely aren't joking with all the innuendos and dirty jokes and not-subtle flirting.There are secret santa shenanigans, mistletoe kisses, ugly christmas sweaters and of course, all the sexy times that comes with Stuckony falling in love.Pure holiday fluff with our favorite OT3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ceealaina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceealaina/gifts).



“Well that’s it for weather today.” The screen behind Bucky faded to a calm outdoor scene and he turned towards camera three. “Looks like snow which looks like a whole lotta fun, so stay warm, New York.”

His signature closing— a crooked grin and charming wink that never failed to make any and all women in the room swoon just a little bit— and the camera swung back towards the sports desk, pausing at Steve while the big blonde sent Bucky a  _look_ and asked, “Isn’t it nice to have such a perky weatherman? What on earth would we here at Channel 8 do if Bucky had gone to college instead of deciding to pointing at fluffy clouds on the screen all day?”

“Oh I dunno, Stevie.” Bucky shot back without ever breaking eye contact with the camera or losing his benign smile. “What would  _we_ do if your phone didn’t let you Google sports stats right before you announce them on TV?”

“Thank you, Steve and Bucky!” Sam interrupted, and the camera panned to the main anchors desk. “Always love that winter weather report with Bucky Barnes, everyone stay tuned for Sports—“

“I think you mean Google!” Bucky called from off-camera. “Right? You mean Google?”

“ _Sports_ with Steve Rogers.” Sam’s left eye twitched a little but that professional smile didn’t budge an inch. “This is Channel 8 news, we’ll be right back.”

“We’re clear!” Someone shouted as the broadcast went to commercial and the news team relaxed for all of five seconds before the station manager headed their way.

“Sam, beautiful as always but you got a little schmutz right here.” Tony pointed at Sam’s cheek and news anchor snapped his fingers for make-up. “Pepper darling, I love your blouse, you look fantastic in pale purple, but you’re sort of disappearing on camera, maybe a scarf?”

“I have one in my bag!” The co-anchor said brightly and Tony blew her a kiss before moving on to the more  _problematic_ members of the Channel Eight news team.

“Bucky.” He said with a sigh and the brunette turned around with a smile that had no business being so flirty.

“Tony.” Bucky looked the station manager over in interest, lingering over the way the red shirt fit across his shoulders before eyeing the flattering cut of the black trousers. “How  _you_ doin’? How come you only come over lookin’ like you’re gonna get me in trouble, you ever thought ‘bout comin’ over just to say hi?”

“You’re not in trouble, I just have a quick note before we go back on air?” Tony steadfastly ignored the urge to flirt back with the gorgeous weatherman, despite the way Bucky’s grin bordered on indecent. “Stop blowing bubbles with your gum, it’s distracting and it interferes with the audio when you pop them.”

“I got a fan letter last week saying blowing bubbles gave me an impish charm!” Bucky protested. “My viewers expect me to be cute and playful, how’s a man gonna be cute and playful without blowing bubbles?”

“Your viewers also expect you to know how to tell the weather forecast.” Steve sauntered over from the sports desk and gave Tony an  _equally_ interested once over before sidling close enough to pat Bucky on the ass. “But we forgive your lack of brains because you’re just so gosh darn adorable.”

“Rogers, for someone who has obviously take steroids for years in an attempt to look even  _somewhat_ athletic, you’d think you would know that basketball has fouls not penalties.” Bucky retorted, smacking Steve’s hand away from his rear. “But we’ll forgive that because you’re so gosh darn All American.”

“Okay okay okay and  _also_.” Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “Things are less strict here at Channel 8 than the other stations, and for the most part I love it. I know all the flirty crap you guys do on air makes our viewers fan girl or whatever, and our ratings are sky high and we are one of the highest watched broadcasts in the state–”

“Not hearing a complaint, Tony.” Steve said easily, reaching out to grope Bucky again and getting flat out rejected by an elbow to the gut. “ _Ooph_ , easy on the goods, doll.”

“Ain’t nothin’ good bout you, punk.” Bucky muttered, and pushed his hair out of his eyes to ask, “What were you gonna say, Tony?”

“Bucky.” Tony pointed a stern finger at him. “You  _cannot_ call Steve out during a live broadcast for having to google the stats. And Steve–” pointing at the big blonde. “For the love of all that is holy  _stop googling stats while we’re on the air!_ ”

“Sorry, Tony.” Bucky muttered, folding his arms petulantly and Steve echoed, “Yeah, sorry Tony.”

“Moving on.” Tony cleared his throat loudly when it looked like Steve was going to lean in and kiss Bucky right there in front of him. “Please stop doing that, thank you. Alright, the Secret Santa name exchange is happening after the broadcast so make sure you stick around, yeah?”

“Oh sure thing, sweet thing.” Bucky winked and Tony hated himself for blushing. “I’ll stick around for you.”

“Anything you want, Tony.” Steve deepened his voice until Tony blushed harder and they both laughed as the station manager cursed and stomped away.

“Make sure you get my name for Secret Santa.” Steve said then. “I need a new blu ray player.”

Bucky snorted, “If I pull your name for Secret Santa, I’ll jump off the building. Ain’t buying you shit.”

“But then you’ll come over right?” Steve goaded. “Right? Gonna jump off the building and then come over so I can pound that ass into the–”

“THE MICS ARE ON GENTLEMEN!” Tony shouted from the back of the room and over at the main desk, Pepper started laughing.

“Ugh.” Bucky covered the mic on his shirt with one hand and lowered his voice. “Yes, Steve after I jump off the building, I’ll come over for some pounding.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Steve grinned at him. “Coming in for an inappropriate work kiss, too fast, you can’t stop me!” he smacked a loud kiss on Bucky’s cheek and then jogged back to his desk as the countdown to get back on the air began.

Bucky rolled his eyes in the general direction of the sports desk and the ridiculously hot blonde that was his sometimes-booty-call and wondered how hard it really would be to get Steve’s name for Christmas. He didn’t know if a new blu-ray player was exactly on the list, but he’d like to get Steve something…something that maybe said they should move from just hooking up to something a little more serious.

Steve sat back behind his desk and sorted his notes for his sports segment, side-eyeing his almost boyfriend and thinking about the very expensive watch he’d bought a month ago and then hid in his top drawer because he was a damn coward and didn’t know how to pretend the gift was just platonic, when in fact it was anything  _but_ platonic.

Maybe he could ask Tony to give him Bucky’s name for Secret Santa and then the gift wouldn’t seem so extravagant and out of the blue.

As the countdown ended and the camera zoomed in on Sam for a recap of the news so far, both Steve and Bucky peered past the cameras to keep an eye on the too-cute-for-his-own-good station manager and secretly hoped they’d each get his name too.

Then, in Steve’s earpiece– “Steve for fucks sake, put your phone down if you don’t know the score from last night’s game by now, you’ll never know it.”

“Shut up and study the cloud types, weather-man.” he muttered, then turned a mega-watt smile to the camera. “I’m Steve Rogers, and this is Sports on Channel 8.”

*****************

Tony had to physically steady himself when a quiet knock on the door brought the insanely hot weatherman Bucky Barnes right into his office.

Every damn time he and Bucky were in this room together Tony got vivid flashbacks to the previous Christmas when someone– most likely Pepper– had hung mistletoe above his desk as a joke. Bucky had walked in the door much like he was doing right now, had looked up at the mistletoe and then down at Tony and before Tony could even breathe, Bucky had kissed him senseless. Big hands in his hair, an unfairly muscled body wedged against his own, a moan that was practically a growl–

– and then the bastard had pulled away with a wink and a laugh and sauntered back out the door as if he hadn’t just fueled the next six months of Tony’s uh–  _self- gratification._

And Tony had felt bad for day dreaming about it, had felt bad for enjoying it so thoroughly, had felt bad for  _ages_ because he knew Bucky and Steve were together or at least sort of together but damn.  _Damn_ how was he supposed to forget a kiss like that?

“You look like you’re thinkin’ awful hard.” Bucky teased. “Am I interrupting something important?”

“Nope.” Tony steeled himself against his rather errant thoughts and forced a hopefully bland smile to his face. “What can I do for you, Buck?”

“Well I was wonderin’, since you’re in charge of the Secret Santa and all–”  _Christ_ , even when he was being awkward Bucky was cute. “–maybe you could see to it that I get Stevie’s name in the drawing?”

“It’s supposed to be random, Bucky.” Tony said flatly. “ _Random_. My control extends to putting all the names in a hat.”

“Right, right.” Bucky nodded in apparent agreement but then tipped his head and smiled shyly. “But you’re the boss, ain’t ya? Can’t you make sure a little holiday magic happens?”

“Tell me, Mr. Barnes.” Tony went back to scribbling names down. “Do you only bring that Brooklyn voice out when you want something?”

“Is it working?” Bucky asked hopefully.

“Holiday magic? Oh my god.” Tony pointed at his door. “Leave me alone and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Sure thing.” Pleased that he’d pretty much gotten his way, Bucky glanced around the office and then up at the ceiling. “No mistletoe this year?” A wink that nearly devastated Tony where he sat. “Damn shame that.”

It took Tony a full two minutes to catch his breath after that little interaction and his heart rate had just barely calmed down when the door opened again and Steve walked in.

_Kill me._

“Tony.” Steve had a grin that would put a Cheshire cat to shame and he turned the full force of it on Tony as he leaned over the desk. “What’s it going to take to make sure I can get Bucky’s name in the Secret Santa?”

“What part of  _random_ don’t you people understand?” Tony poked at Steve’s finger with his pencil until Steve gave him some more space. “I don’t have any control over who gets which name, it’s all luck of the draw.”

“But you’re the boss.” Steve cajoled. “Can’t you work a little–”

“Holiday magic?” Tony finished. “I gotta tell you, it’s feeling less like holiday magic and more like bah-humbug right about now.”

“What if I sweeten the deal?” the big blonde waggled his eyebrows coaxingly. “Hm?”

“Nobody wants anything you’re offering, Rogers.”

Steve made a show of rolling his shoulders, flexing those over sized arms. “Aw c’mon Tony, we both know  _that’s_ not true. Why don’t you loosen your tie a little and let me take you out for a drink? We can test my bribery skills.”

“Go away and go bother Bucky.”

“You wound me Tony.” Softly, damn near  _honestly_ if those blue eyes wouldn’t have been sparking with laughter. “You know you own my heart.”

“ _Out_ , Rogers!”

Steve laughed all the way out the door, ducking when a pen winged by his ear, the station manager having had enough of his shenanigans for one day.

“Did Tony just throw something at you?” Bucky was already posted up in the break room and halfway through a foot long sub when Steve showed up. “You better be careful, he’ll bump you down to janitor and let me have your job too.”

“You need to be more than pretty to work an actual desk, Buck.” Steve took the sandwich and scarfed down a big bite. “It’s not exactly pointing at clouds and guessing temperatures.”

“Whatever.” Bucky took his sandwich back with a scowl. “How hard can it be?  _You_ do it. I got a smart phone to google shit too.”

“Boys boys.” Sam stripped off his tie and tossed it over a chair as he went for the soda machine. “You’re both pretty and both pretty useless. No reason to argue over it all, just a waste of good quality oxygen.”

“He has a valid point, loves.” The always beautiful Pepper came in next, a sunny smile for the three men. “But listen, before Tony gets in here we need to figure out what we are getting him for Christmas. He puts up with enough of our crap–”

“And by our crap she means  _your_ crap.” Sam supplied helpfully and Bucky scowled at him.

“– so I’m getting him a nice bottle of imported scotch, Sam has a connection for season tickets, the least you two can do is hefty gift certificates, do you understand?” She finished. “And I do mean  _hefty_ , we all remember the five dollar Starbucks card fiasco from last year, let’s not do that again.”

“Sure thing, Pepper.” Steve and Bucky chorused, and then to each other– “We should get him a terrible gag gift.”

“Oh definitely.  _Definitely_ a terrible gift.”

“I’m gonna get you something real stupid if I get your name too.”

“Ditto.” Steve nodded, and then quieter, “You’re coming over tonight, right?”

“Only if you feed me after.” Bucky crammed the last bit of his sandwich in his mouth. “Not gonna come over unless there’s food.”

“The fuck I will.” Steve argued. “Last time you ate an entire pizza!” and Bucky snarked back– “Okay, but only after I got you off  _twice_ so you know, I earned that shit.”  

“Hey guys.” Sam grimaced. “Learn to whisper, huh? If I have to listen to anymore of this my ears are gonna start bleeding.”

“Attention attention!” Any snappy comeback from Bucky or Steve was silenced when Tony finally got to the break room, holding a bowl full of folded scraps of paper. “Here we go, Secret Santa. Price limit is fifty bucks this year, don’t tell anyone who you got, and you really aren’t supposed to swap but I don’t care all that much.”

He shook the bowl at them. “The colors mean nothing at all, I had a bunch of different colored sticky notes that got used, there’s only two  _green_ ones though–” he widened his eyes meaningfully at Bucky and Steve. “– so no one fight over them.”

Tony set the bowl down and drew a name first, then backed up to let everyone else have a turn, smiling to himself when Steve and Bucky both picked up a green piece of paper.

_Dorks_.

Damn, he sort of loved them.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve found Bucky in the copy room before the Monday evening broadcast, and he took a moment to ogle a  _rather_ fantastic backside as Bucky bent to load more paper in the copier tray.

“I can feel you creeping on me, sports guy.” Bucky pushed the tray closed and starting pushing buttons. “The least you could do is pretend like you aren’t staring. Or wear sunglasses so I don’t have to see you. Or a  _bib_ to catch all that drool.”

“A bib would probably be a good investment.” Steve grinned, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning into the door jam. “Can’t blame a fella for looking, your ass deserves to be ogled.”

“I wasn’t arguing that fact.” The copier started whirring and Bucky finally turned around, a cocky smile on his lips. “I  _definitely_ deserve to be ogled. I was takin’ issue with you perving on me without even kissing me hello first.”

“You know what, you’re right about that.” Steve wet his lips a little nervously, then fit his palm to the back of Bucky’s neck and brought him in for a long kiss. “Um, hi.”

“ _Hi_.” Bucky breathed, stunned by how vulnerable Steve suddenly looked. “You okay? S’just a kiss, Stevie, ya didn’t hafta if you didn’t want—“

“I always wanna kiss ya, Buck.” Steve mumbled shyly and Bucky’s heart squeezed a little in his chest.

“I always wanna kiss ya too, Stevie.” He whispered.

“Well then, kiss me again so I stop feeling like a dummy.” Steve half joked, half pleaded and Bucky kissed him again, sweet and slow. “Yeah, that’s better.”

“Dork.” Bucky grinned and let him go, turning back to the copy machine to gather his copies and put something different on the screen. “What are you doin’ in here, anyhow? Did you need something?” 

“I actually don’t think I’ve ever been in here.” Steve coughed away any lingering emotion from their kiss and looked around the room curiously. “In fact, I might not have known the station had a copy room at all. Just saw you in here and couldn’t figure out why the weatherman needed to make copies. And then I thought maybe you didn’t know how to use it, so I came in to see.” 

“You came to offer your expertise?” Bucky rifled through the pages and started stapling several together. “You who apparently didn’t even know we  _had_ a copy room? And for the record, why wouldn’t I know how to use the copy machine?”

“I don’t want to say we only keep you on cause you’re pretty—“ Steve spread his hands in a ‘ _you know_?’ gesture. “—but we only keep you on cause you’re pretty. Figured your skill set was limited to pointing at rain clouds and winking at the camera.”

“I’ve had just about enough of you, Rogers.” Bucky chucked an eraser at him and Steve batted it out of the air. “Get out of here so I can get this finished. I’m making copies for Tony, he looked all frazzled so I offered to help, give him a chance to relax before we go on air.”

“What do you mean, he looked  _frazzled_?” Steve shoved away from the door and took a stack of papers and stapler to help out. “Was his hair doing that poofy thing again?”

“His hair was doing that poofy thing again.” Bucky confirmed. “Dunno why he’s all stressed out, it’s almost Christmas time, all should be merry and bright in the world so we all get presents. Nothing on the news but holiday cheer and good will towards men.” He frowned when Steve smothered a laugh into his palm. “Why ya laughin’ at me, Stevie?”

“You’re so cute, Buck.” Steve leaned over and kissed his forehead. “Holiday cheer and good will towards men? Those things don’t exist in the real world, don’t you listen when Sam is jabbering on about world events?”

“I’ve learned to tune Sam’s jabbering out.” Bucky fed another paper into the copy machine. “And what’d’ya mean they don’t exist in the real world? People are nice. Stop being such a scrooge. This is why I’m not getting you anything for Christmas. You’re gonna wake up in the morning and have nothing under the Christmas tree, you damn Scrooge.” 

“Yeah, well as long as you’re in my bed, I won’t need presents at all.” Steve said it without thinking, the words wistful and  _longing_ and wholly unexpected and Bucky– Bucky stared at him in shock for a full fifteen seconds.

“Wh–What?”

“I’m saying as long as I get laid, I don’t need holiday cheer!” Steve retorted, scrambling to cover his slip. “And you know, bah hum bug and that sort of thing.”

“Right.” Bucky watched him for a few seconds longer, then went back to his papers. “…right.”

They worked in silence for another horribly awkward moment or two, neither one sure what to say or how to begin to say whatever it was they couldn’t say. Steve was  _desperately_ trying to come up with a valid reason to run away that didn’t make it seem like he was running _the fuck_  away when Tony came in, head bent over his phone and muttering to himself as he sent off a text.

“Hey Tony.” Eternally grateful to the station manager for unknowingly saving him from blurting out something stupid, Steve jostled the smaller man lightly and smiled. “How’s it going? You look a little frazzled.”

“Why do people keep saying that?” Tony grumbled and ran a hand through his already over poofy hair. “Is it my hair? Do I need a comb? What the hell is going on?”

“I just meant you look busy.” Steve amended. “But you know, we’re almost done copying these things for you. That should help, right?”

“Thank god.” Tony put his phone away and started collecting the papers, checking the numbers and dates before sorting them into piles. “I appreciate the help.”

“Sure thing, sweet thing.” Bucky said easily, cheeks burning when Steve glanced his way. “Um, do you need anything else done before the broadcast?”

“Nothing you can help me with, but thanks.” Tony glanced between the two of them, at Bucky’s red cheeks and Steve nervously biting at his lip and sighed noisily. “Oh god, were you two going to defile the copy room? What did I just walk in the middle of?”

“Ain’t nothin’ like that, Tony.” Bucky shook his head so quickly his bun came loose, dark hair falling to his shoulders. “Nope. Just a–a joke. Inside joke. That’s all. You just walked in on the last of it.” 

“Uh, yep.” Steve nodded. “Yep. That’s what happened.” 

“I don’t believe that in the slightest bit, but as long as you two behave on screen tonight I’ll let it go.” Tony waved and backed out of the copy room, kicking the door closed behind him as he went and once again there was terrible, stomach turning awkwardness.

“Bucky–” Steve blew out a deep breath. “Listen, about what I said earlier–”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“ _What_?”

The lock on the door clanked shut, and Bucky yanked down the shade over the window. “Shut up and kiss me. I heard what you said and I know we aren’t gonna talk about it so just come here and kiss me.”

Relieved that Bucky wasn’t going to push the issue and more than ready to alleviate the tension in the room, Steve shoved Bucky up against the door and crushed their mouths together, the embrace hungry and greedy and full of everything he wanted to say but couldn’t quite get into words. 

Bucky’s hands landed low on Steve’s ass almost automatically, holding him close and holding him  _tight_ , and when Steve wedged a thick thigh between his legs, Bucky ground down shamelessly, his groan muffled by Steve’s tongue as it invaded his mouth.

“God you’re– Bucky you–  _Fuck_.” Steve freed a hand only long enough to double check the lock, then he was tearing at Bucky’s shirt, rucking it up to get to the smooth skin beneath. “You feel good, baby.” Steve dragged his nails down the defined abdomen, feeling the muscles jump beneath his palm as he headed for Bucky’s belt. “So good.” 

“Stevie, Stevie.” Bucky laughing, pushing at him in what was at  _best,_ a half hearted protest. “I said  _kiss_ me, not try and undress me. What kind of weatherman do you take me for?” 

“You are so dorky, Jesus Christ.” Steve backpedaled towards the copy machine, bringing Bucky with him as he went. “We’ll be quick, come on, just pull your pants down a little bit.”

“Oh my god, you  _did_ come in here trying to perv on me! You weren’t trying to help with paperwork at all!” Bucky accused in mock horror, making a show of smacking Steve’s hand away as they went for his zipper. “I should have known, jocks like you only enter copy rooms for sex! It’s all that porn you watch!”

“You watched that movie with me.” Steve sucked a hard kiss onto Bucky’s neck, digging his teeth in until Bucky cursed and went a little limp in his arms. “You can’t tell me you  _never_ expected me to initiate copy room sex after that.”

“Stevie–” A shaky sigh as Steve palmed over his cock, squeezing the length through Bucky’s pants. “We  _definitely_ can’t have sex in the copy room, no matter how many times we rewound that specific scene.”

“Nonsense.” The copier squeaked in protest when Steve pushed Bucky into it, the paper tray groaning under  _way_ more weight than it was supposed to handle. “We’ve done it at my desk, at Sam’s desk, in front of the green screen, how is the copy room any different? If no one’s had sex in here, it needs to be christened!” 

“Oh my god, do you hear yourself talk?” Bucky tugged Steve back up for another kiss, his tongue sliding along the seam of Steve’s lips and then inside to taste him. “What’s gotten into you all the sudden?”

“It’s more of a question of what’s about to get into  _you_.” Steve corrected with a wicked grin and Bucky rolled his eyes, leaving a too sharp bite on Steve’s tongue just because the big blonde was ridiculous. “Do you have lube?”

“Why th’hell would I have lube on me?” Bucky shot back, pushing Steve’s pants down his thighs. “Good Christ, you’re not even wearing underwear. Were you planning this?”

“Hoping.” Steve admitted, slipping his fingers down the back of Bucky’s jeans and kneading at his rear, trailing along the cleft and heading lower. “Been a few days since you came over, you know? Can’t get enough of you lately, Buck.”

Bucky shivered, told himself the words were about sex and that was it, and fumbled in his jeans before Steve shoved them to his knees, producing a nearly empty bottle of lube and holding it up proudly. “Well you’re in luck. Seems like I can’t get enough of you either so I’m a little more prepared than I usually am.” 

“Yeah?” Steve took the bottle with an impressed little grin. “Planned on a workplace shenanigan?” 

“Actually, I planned on getting you drunk after work and taking advantage of you in my truck.” Bucky admitted and Steve buried a laugh in his neck, those big shoulders shaking as he tried to keep quiet. “Don’t know why you’re laughing, I fucking meant it.” 

“Sure you did.” Steve pressed a kiss to Bucky’s throat, then one to his jaw. “Now we got seventeen minutes before broadcast, you gonna let me do this or what? You ready for me?” 

“Am I ready for you?” Bucky repeated, turning around and bracing himself over the copier. “You’re lucky I had lube, but askin’ me to be all loose for ya is just a little too much. You gotta do some of this work too, lazy ass.” 

“Why’d you turn around?” Steve laughed at Bucky’s sass and drizzled the lube into his palm. “How am I supposed to hear all that snark you’re slinging if you’re facin away from me?” 

“Because you get too busy kissin’ when we’re face to face.” Bucky shoved his butt back invitingly. “Do it this way and you can make your mess, get me off and we can still be ready for the six o clock ne-WS!” He yelped a little when there was suddenly a finger teasing at his rim, sliding slick around the tight entrance and pressing inside.

“Ahhhh shit.” he panted quietly as Steve worked him open. “Shit you feel good, Stevie, almost bums me out you’re such a damn minute man in this position.” 

“A  _minute_ man?” Steve sounded offended, but he was still gentle as he eased another digit into Bucky’s body. “Why the  _hell_ would you call me something like that? I’m All-American, keep you up all night, till the dawns early light, yes sir.” 

“For the love of god–” Bucky breathed out when Steve added a third one, stretching him quickly. “–do  _not_ quote the national anthem while you’re fingering me, huh? I don’t care how All-American you are, patriotism will never be that sexy.”

“Well then stop talking and unclench so I can get in you faster.” Steve retorted.

“I  _am_ unclenched!” Bucky shot back. “Waiting on you, minute man! Tick Tock!”

“Tick tock is right.” Steve slicked a hand down his cock and lined up with Bucky’s entrance, rocking forward just enough for Bucky to feel him, the pressure at the blunt head of his cock enough to make his head spin. “ _Christ_ you feel good.”

“Ahh-ahh-ahh–” Bucky hissed a breath as Steve filled him in one steady stroke, not stopping until their hips met and they were sat snug together. “Stevie  _yes_ –”

“Tick-tock.” Steve muttered into his ear and Bucky had a just a second to ask– “Wait  _what_ –?” before Steve withdrew and slammed back into him.

Bucky bit through his lip trying not to yell, the tray of the copier cracking beneath his fingers and Steve breathed a laugh and did it again, pulling out until just the head of his cock was still inside. “Fuck you’re tight.” Steve said through gritted teeth, jerking forward in short, fast strokes, teasing Bucky with not near enough length, making himself crazy when all he wanted to do was bury himself as far as he could and not stop until they were both screaming. 

“Yeah, Stevie come on.” Bucky grunted and pushed back into the next short thrust, clenching down around the fat tip until Steve was cursing and digging bruises onto Bucky’s wrist to hold him still. 

“Damn it, Bucky–” 

“Tick tock, sports boy.” Bucky pushed back again, and Steve swore out loud when he sank another inch deeper. “Broadcast in twelve minutes, you just gonna tease me or you gonna do something with that thing?” 

“Maybe I should give you something to shut that mouth up!” Steve finally stroked all the way into Bucky, grinning when the brunette sighed in relief and arched his back to take even more. “Yeah, not complaining now are you?” 

Bucky made a contented, encouraging noise and Steve snapped his hips forward again and then again, setting a hard fast rhythm and driving himself  _deeper_ , Bucky’s body hot and tight and so fucking  _perfect_ Steve knew he wouldn’t last very long at all. 

“Damn it, I really might be a minute man today.” he gasped and Bucky choked out a laugh, feeling blindly behind him until he could get a hand on Steve’s hip and coax him to move  _faster_ before letting go so he could grip his own cock, matching Steve thrust for thrust.

“Do you want me to–” Steve tried to help, slowed his next stroke so he could close his palm over Bucky’s hand and pull over the thick length eagerly. “Let me get you off first, babe.” 

“Oh you’ll get me off.” Bucky shook Steve’s hand away. “But fuck me first, kay?” 

“Right, cos I’m going to argue with that.” A breathless sort of laugh and Steve pushed his forehead between Bucky’s shoulders. “M’gettin’ close. Can I come inside you?”

“Well you sure as hell can’t come on my face.” Bucky teased. “How th’hell would I explain that to the make-up team?” 

“Call it moisturizer.” Steve pinched Bucky’s side without breaking his rhythm and Bucky squawked in outrage. “I love comin’ on your face. It’s like squirting paint everywhere.” 

“Yeah, you’re a real Picasso.” Bucky’s hand was flying over his own cock now, breathing coming harsh and choppy. “Come on Stevie, come on come on come on, don’t make me wait–” 

“ _Shit_ , Bucky–” Steve thought he saw stars when Bucky tightened just right around him, feeling the muscles in Bucky’s back flex beneath his palm “I’m gonna come baby, you ready?”

“Tick Tock!” Bucky snarked and if Steve wouldn’t have been so close to coming he might have laughed again, but instead he rolled his hips forward to get as deep as he could and groaned Bucky’s name, grinding into that gorgeous body and letting his vision go white as he spilled his release. “ _Buckybuckybucky_ …”

Bucky was groaning too, his core rippling in pleasure as Steve rocked into him over and over, but he managed to stammer, “Fu–fuck Stevie, you’re not gonna leave me hanging, are you?”

“No no no.” As soon as his vision stopped spinning and he didn’t think his legs would give out, Steve eased from Bucky as quickly as he could. “Come here, babe, turn around for me.”

Bucky turned around on shaky legs, and Steve licked his lips when he saw the long cock standing nearly flat against Bucky’s abs, twitching and leaking and  _red._  “Gonna let you fuck my mouth, yeah?” he rasped _,_ running his hand up and down the thick length a few times before taking Bucky in his mouth, twisting his tongue over the sensitive head and taking as much as he could. 

He wasn’t as good at this as Bucky, he couldn’t deep throat or get his nose to Bucky’s stomach, but he  _tried_ and when Bucky wove his fingers into Steve’s hair and tugged experimentally, he nodded and sat back on his heels so Bucky could take his mouth as rough as he wanted.

“You’re so fucking pretty on your knees.” Bucky murmured, and Steve hummed in agreement, the noise vibrating around Bucky’s cock and tipping him right over the edge.

Steve closed his eyes and took every bit, swallowing as fast as he could and licking his lips to get whatever he missed, sealing his lips around Bucky’s cock and cleaning him up with a satisfied moan, not letting up until Bucky was whining from the over sensitivity, pulling away reluctantly. 

“Stevie.” Not trusting his legs to keep him up anymore, Bucky dropped to his knees and grabbed Steve in a kiss, trying to calm his breathing down enough to talk. “So um– so we can cross that one off our list, huh? Copy room christened?”

“Copy room damn well christened.” Steve looped an arm around Bucky’s neck and held him close. “How did we do? Are we still on time for the broadcast?”

“Six minutes.” Bucky said in satisfaction. “Hows my hair?”

“Looks like you just had illicit sex with a shady character in the copy room.” Steve confirmed, sweeping it back from Bucky’s face. “So sexy.”

“Cut that out.” Bucky flushed pink and Steve leaned in for another kiss just because he couldn’t help himself. “Get your big ass zipped up and find me some tissue paper so I don’t make a mess in my pants when I stand up. You come like a fire hose and I don’t have a spare pair’a skivvies.” 

“I should have had a condom.” Steve said apologetically, jumping to his feet and reaching for a few tissues to clean up. “Next time I’ll remember.”

“ _Next_ time?” Bucky cleaned up as best he could and stood up on still wobbly knees. “You makin’ plans to jump my bones again the next time we end up in the copy room?”

“Bucky, I’ve worked here for am entire year and I just found out we had a copy room.” Steve tried his best to push the copy machine back where it belonged, grimacing over the marks it had left on the wall. “The odds of us both ending up in here again are sort of ridiculously small.”

“And yet you’re going to pack condoms?”

“All American and always prepared.” Steve winked and Bucky punched him in the shoulder. “Ow! You aren’t supposed to punch people after se-eh-eh-eh– _ahem_.” he cleared his throat loudly when a key jangled in the lock and the door swung open. “Look at that. People have keys to this room.”

Pepper, who looked about as amused as she’d ever been, looked them both over and smirked. “You boys are supposed to be on the air in three minutes. What oh what could you possibly be doing locked in the copy room together?” 

“This is officially the most embarrassed I’ve ever been.” Bucky whispered in horror. “Stevie say something!”

“I–” Steve’s face washed very white and then very red. “We– its– um–helping. The copier– yikes– uh–” 

“Oh don’t look so terrified.” Pepper finally cracked a smile. “At least it’s me and not Coulson. He walked in on me and Sam one time in here and couldn’t talk to us for a solid month. He just sent us a bunch of memo’s whenever he needed to say anything. I still can hardly look him in the eye.” 

“Wait.” Steve’s eyes narrowed. “You and  _Sam_?”

“Oh don’t look so surprised, Rogers.” Pepper rolled her eyes. “You think you three are the only ones who do this sort of thing? Why do you think the copy room is at the top of the stairs at the end of a very long hallway?” 

“Us… three?” Bucky looked between he and Steve, brow crinkling. “There’s only two of us.”

“Oh, oh Bucky you’re so gosh darn cute.” She winked at him. “I know there’s only two of you in here, I meant you two and  _Tony_! Don’t think we don’t know what happens when you two suddenly have  _reasons_ to be in Tony’s office after broadcast. Please. This is Channel 8, not PBS.”

She glanced up at the clock again. “Damn it, we’ve got to go. Bucky at least fix your sex hair. And Steve?” a motion at the corner of her lips. “You missed some. I have mints in my purse if you need one.”  

The door closed behind the perky redhead and Bucky and Steve exchanged incredulous looks. “Does  _everyone_ think Tony and us are hooking up?”

“Well I mean..” Bucky ran his fingers through his hair and tied it back up in a bun. “… why  _aren’t_ we hooking up with Tony? We could do that, right?”

“You think?” Uncertainly, Steve wiping at the corner of his mouth. “I mean, I’d like to spend some more time with Tony, but do you think he wants to spend time with us? Or do you think he even knows we’re interested?”

“I dunno.” a careless shrug. “You flirt with him like you got no shame, and I spend most of the day eye-humpin’ him. M’sure he’s figured it out. Could be fun.” a glance towards Steve. “We– we have fun, right? It’s not like we’re–” quieter now. “–dating, or anything. With Tony we could just keep it casual and easy like you and I do?”

“Right. Casual.” Steve cleared his throat, side stepping the  _dating_ thing. “I’m sure he knows we’re not a–a real couple, so he might be fine joining it. Any ideas of how we’d ask him that sort of thing, though?”

“We could just make sure he knows that we’re serious when we tease him about hanging out.” Bucky said slowly. “Take him for drinks. Invite him next time we go to a game or out to a movie. It’s Christmas time, so we could always hang a bunch of mistletoe around and just kiss the crap out of him.”

“Kiss the crap out him?” Steve raised a fairly judgmental eyebrow “There’s gotta be a better way to say that.”

“The first time you got me in bed, you patted my ass and asked me if I wanted to be sore tomorrow.” Bucky said flatly. “What I said is  _way_ better than what you said.”

“Okay in my defense.” Steve was laughing too hard to kiss back properly when Bucky leaned in to smoosh one onto his mouth. “In my defense I was  _very_ drunk and you were wearing  _very_ tight pants and you know, you complain now but you said yes to me, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.” Bucky brushed his knuckles over Steve’s cheek. “I sure did, Stevie.”

Neither one of them were willing to think too hard about why their next kiss was a little more heartfelt, a little more passionate than the one before and as it happened, they didn’t have time to think about it because the door slammed open again and a  _very_ frazzled Tony with  _extremely_ poofy hair stared at them.

“The broadcast went live three minutes ago and you two are in here  _kissing_? ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?!”

“Sorry Tony.”

“Oh shit, sorry Tony.”

“We’re going, we’re going.”

“Oh but wait–” Steve stopped halfway out the door. “Hey, after the show do you want to go get a drink with me and Bucky?”

“Oh yeah!” Bucky piped up. “We’ve got a real great spot, could be fun! Real close to my apartment so if too many drinks are had…” he waggled his eyebrows and Tony’s jaw nearly fell to the floor.

“You’re late to be on air and you’re asking me out for a drink? What the–how in–are you–I don’t–” he threw his hands in the air and stalked away.

“Bad timing.” Bucky commented.

“Definitely bad time.” Steve agreed. “Don’t worry. We’ll get him.”

“In the copy room?” 

“Maybe we should try a bed first.” 

“Spoilsport.” 


	3. Chapter 3

It wasn’t all that unusual for Tony to quite literally hold his breath as the closing remarks of a broadcast were made, but it had been true more often than not this week because for whatever reason, Bucky and Steve were on a wild  _binge_ of inappropriateness.

Wednesday’s broadcast ended with Bucky putting a sprig of mistletoe in his hair and winking at the camera, proclaiming, “Tis the season to smooch under the mistletoe, so hold those loved ones tight.” to which Steve added, “And for the love of god, brush your teeth first, everyone likes garlic bread, no one likes garlic breath. This has been a Happy Holidays PSA.”

There was silence on the air for a full fifteen seconds, and then Pepper cracked up laughing at the unexpected and fairly stupid comment and the camera swung her way just in time to catch her snorting into her hands and then  _eep_!ing in embarrassment.

Tony fussed and fumed over the exchange, and then popped a piece of gum in his mouth to get rid of the after taste from the garlic bread they’d had at lunch.

Thursday, Steve wore a Christmas sweater so ugly and so tight that even Sam couldn’t help staring, distracted from his report by the bells that tinkled every time Steve moved and the light up tree that somehow managed to have two bulbs glowing directly over the sports anchors nipples.

But it was Bucky with a closer of– “Careful out there folks, the winds blowing hard and it’s definitely a bit nipply– I MEAN NIPPY! OH MY GOD IT’S NIPPY–NOT NIPPLY I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY NIPPLE!!” that had Tony cutting the broadcast short with a wave of his hand as the entire room collapsed into hysteria.

Today was Friday and there was only two minutes left in the broadcast and Tony was literally holding his breath praying everything went off without a hitch. He just had to make it through the next two minutes and then he could relax for the weekend and–

“–aw look at that, the annual Channel Eight News Team Christmas Photo!” Pepper shot Tony a wink before speaking to the camera. “We are all grateful for our viewers here at Channel Eight, and with another Holiday Season upon us we want to remind you all to be safe as you’re out shopping this–”

“Hey where can I get a copy of that picture?” Steve didn’t realize his mic was still on and cut right into Pepper’s speech, earning him a frosty glare from the redhead. 

“Oh crap, sorry.” he waved apologetically when the camera panned his way. “It’s a great picture though, I’m sure our viewers will agree. And hey, that will make it real easy for me to show Santa the two things I want for Christmas, amiright?” A more than suggestive wink towards Bucky and finger guns towards Tony, who was thankfully out of sight of the cameras. “Back to you, Pepper.”

Sam spit his coffee all over his desk and off camera Bucky made a noise that might have been a cackle or might have been a howl from behind his hand and Tony– Tony thought he might actually pass out from embarrassment. 

“Well then.” Pepper was the one to save it all, clearing her throat primly. “Thanks for the candid input from our sports desk, let’s all hope Santa was taking notes. You all have a safe and merry weekend, and we will see you again on Monday.”

“We’re clear!” someone shouted.

“Thank the fucking Lord.” Tony chucked his clipboard right in the trash and headed for his office, desperately needing both a drink and something for what was sure to be a massive headache. “Nobody bother me until Monday.”

“Two things you want for Christmas, huh?” Bucky sauntered over towards Steve’s desk. “Not the smoothest line, but Pepper’s right, I bet Santa was taking notes.”

“I didn’t know my mic was still on.” Steve ripped it off his shirt in disgust. “I need to start just taking it off after sports.”

“Probably, probably.” Bucky agreed, then leaned over the desk and brushed a kiss to Steve’s cheek, bumping their noses together playfully. “But it was super cute anyway. You should have seen the look on Tony’s face when you finger gunned at him. By the way, no one finger guns anymore.”

“Everyone finger guns, it’s cool and you know it.” Steve kissed him back, blushing over how happy it made him to be able to kiss Bucky whenever he wanted. “But I missed Tony’s face because Pepper was harvesting my soul through her glare.”

“Yeah, she was pissed. You owe her flowers.”

“I definitely owe her flowers.” Steve scratched at his chin sheepishly. “So uh, do you think Tony got that hint, or….?”

********************

********************

“Hi Tony.” Pepper blew the station manager a kiss when he came to the break room. “Good show tonight, hm? Coulson says our numbers are higher this season than they have ever been.”

“A good show?” Tony repeated blankly. “A good– did you not hear what Steve said? Or what about the other night, when Bucky shouted  _nipple_ on air? I got phone calls from the FCC telling us to clean up the broadcast!”

“Okay.” Pepper tried not to laugh at her boss. “Okay, but in Bucky’s defense, Steve had no business wearing a sweater like that, all I could think was  _nipples_ too. And as far as Steve’s little faux pax tonight–” she blew out a breath. “I mean, it was sort of cute, right?”

“In what universe was it cute?” Tony retorted. “Who finger guns anymore? What grown man doesn’t know how to turn off his mic? Why on earth would he say something so ridiculous on a live broadcast?!””

“I know you’re stressed.” Pepper said sympathetically, eyeing te height of Tony’s hair poof critically. “But listen– these boys have been ridiculous around you for days now, are you at least going to cut them some slack? Obviously they aren’t happy with just hooking up and want to move things forward in time for Christmas and they can’t get much more obvious than announcing on TV that they want you for Christmas, you know?” 

“You just–” Tony tipped his head and narrowed his eyes. “You just said a lot of things that made zero sense to me. Start over again and say things slower because there’s no way you said what I thought you said.” 

“Are you so busy you’ve been ignoring them?” Pepper sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Oh Tony. Bucky and Steve have been tripping over themselves trying to be sweet to you and you haven’t even noticed?”

“I–” A vague motion with his hands. “They’ve been in the way more, yeah. Steve keeps opening doors and Bucky keeps taking things out of my hands to carry them. It’s annoying, I’ve started taking the back stairs to my office.”

“Christ.” she chuckled at him and went back to her yogurt. “Can’t you see they’re trying to court you a little? I’d call it seducing, but we can all agree that the  _seducing_ has already happened, right?”

Tony stopped with his hand halfway into the fridge for a drink. “Pep, what the hell does that mean? Bucky and Steve haven’t seduced me. There’s no seducing going on. No one has been  _seduced_.”

“No?” She raised her eyebrows. “You three haven’t been trying to break the copy machine together?”

“I–we–um–copy??” Tony ran his hand through his hair a few times. “ _What_?!”

“Oh my god.” Pepper’s mouth dropped open. “You really aren’t– Oh my– Sam?  _SAM_! Sam get in here!”

“Hey Peps. Tony.” Sam sauntered into the break room and bent to kiss Pepper’s cheek. “What’s the trouble, you sound all high pitched and squeaky?”

“Tony and Steve and Bucky aren’t sleeping together.” Pepper announced and Sam whipped around with a dramatic, “ _No_!”

“Why are the two of you so upset right now?” Tony unscrewed his water bottle and took a long rink, watching them warily. “Why is this an issue?”

“Because everyone knows you guys are sleeping together.” Sam said emphatically. “For like, six months now. Steve and Bucky flirt and eye hump on camera but the second you’re anywhere near them they get all dumb and googly eyed and you know–” he shrugged. “–stupider than usual. That only happens when people are sleeping together.”

“I don’t–” Tony blinked at them both in confusion. “Uh, no? That’s not true at all.”

“Well, it sure was true with me and Pep!”

“He’s right, he got very googly eyed and stupid when we started sleeping together.” she confirmed. “But I still can’t believe– Tony, you really aren’t sleeping with them? Not even just the occasional booty call?”

“You don’t like them?” Complete disbelief from Sam. “You’re joking. Everyone knows you like them. You three are like some weird perfect match. They’re hot and sorta dumb and you’re hot and super smart and… you know. It works.”

“I- I don’t  _not_ like them.” Tony stammered. “But we aren’t hooking up. Not sleeping together. Not– not any of that.”

“Oh.” Sam and Pepper exchanged a long look. “Well you should be.”

“I SHOULD BE?”

“Tony, I don’t know how to say this delicately, so I’m just going to say it the regular way.” Sam tapped the table a few times. “Go get some, kiddo. Those boys are nuts about you and you are not as subtle as you think you are, which is why we all assumed you and them were humping it out.” Tony squawked a little and Pepper giggled. “I’ve heard them ask you out for a drink every night this week. You tellin’ me you haven’t said yes once?”

“…no.”

“Say yes.” Pepper said firmly. “It would make their day and you could call it their Christmas present. Plus you might actually get a chance to relax for a few minutes, right?”

“Well–”

“Hey Tony.” Bucky poked his head into the break room. “Steve and I are heading out for a drink, you gonna come along?”

“Um–”

“Yes he is.” Pepper said brightly. “Because if he doesn’t, Sam and I will never have time to figure out what we’re getting Tony for Christmas, isn’t that right Sam?”

“That’s exactly right.” Sam nodded. “Tony, go out for a drink with the weatherman so we can talk about your Secret Santa present. Go on, git.”

“Git?”

“GIT!”

“This is weird but I’m not gonna turn it down.” Bucky raised his eyebrows hopefully. “Tony? Is that a yes?”

“…apparently?” Tony swallowed back a wave of nervousness, butterflies rioting in his stomach at the thought of spending off-work time with Steve and Bucky. “Apparently. Yes. Um, we’re going for a drink.” 

“Tony’s coming?” Steve peered around the corner too. “Great! Come on, Tony it will be a blast. Let’s go get drunk.” 

“Go get drunk.” A deep breath. “Sure. What could go wrong?” 

******************

******************

Drinking with Steve and Bucky was about a thousand times better than Tony had thought it would be, and just wonderful as he had sort of secretly hoped it would be.

Bucky was suave and hilarious and Steve was sarcastic and endearing and they all ended up wedged in a booth with Tony in the middle, his thigh budged up against Steve’s, his shoulder bumping Bucky’s. 

It was comfortable and easy and Tony caught himself wondering why he hadn’t gone out with them before. Then Bucky would wink or Steve would say something flirty and Tony’s heart would almost stop and he’d remember exactly  _why_ he avoided this exact situation. 

It was really  _really_ difficult to remember he wasn’t supposed to have feelings for his coworkers when Steve was  _gorgeous_ and Bucky was  _gorgeous_ and they both flirted non stop while buying him drink after drink and dropping scandalous innuendos and less than classy come on’s that had Tony in  _stitches_ the entire night. 

“You know Buck, when they told me they wanted you for the weatherman job I couldn’t believe it.” Tony admitted as Steve came back with a third round of drinks. “I mean, you were our Fed-Ex guy. What were you even  _doing_ in front of the green screen?”

“Would you believe it was a dare?” Bucky pushed his hair out of his eyes and winked. “Couple of the fellas at the Fed Ex shop dared me to get up there and dance and maybe one of the camera’s would be rolling and I’d end up on TV.”

“And the fool ended up with a job.” Steve rolled his eyes dramatically. “If I knew I coulda gotten the job just from shaking my ass, I would’a skipped the interview and just river danced for Coulson. Would have worked like a champ.” 

“Dumbass.” Bucky snorted. “No way you coulda gotten a job shaking your ass, you don’t have the right moves  _or_ any rhythm.”

“I take serious offense to that.” Steve shot back. “I have fantastic rhythm!”{ 

“It’s not  _off_ -ense if you’re annoyed, Steve.” Tony tried not to laugh quite so hard at Steve’s insulted expression. “It’s  _uh_ –fense. Christ, how do you survive without Google?”

“I say  _off_ ense a lot more than I say _uh_ -ffense.” He defended. “And it’s not like I google everything! 

“Nope, just the things you need to know to keep your job!” Bucky raised his bottle in a salute. “Only gotta google the things that matter, right?”

“I bet if I break your pointer finger you’ll be out of a job in the morning, so watch it!” the big blonde threatened and Tony almost died laughing when Bucky snapped right back, “Well that’s why they have laser pointers,  _duh_!”

“Okay but seriously.” Tony emptied the last of his beer and wiped his mouth. “ _Seriously_. Steve, why don’t you know anything about sports?”

“I know lots about football.” Steve shrugged. “But I only played in high school cause I was so big. Easy to be a quarterback when you’re six-two, you know? I went to college for art, actually. Have a degree and everything. But you know, there’s not a whole lot of places around here where I can use an art degree, so I had to look for other works and when you look like me–” he rolled those broad shoulders. “– people expect you to know about sports and talk stats and all that. It was a cinch to get the sports anchor job.” 

“So you look like a professional football player, but your passion is oil painting?” Tony raised his eyebrows. “Or water color? Can I call you Bob Ross?” 

“PLEASE call him Bob Ross!” Bucky howled. “Oh my god, Stevie paint me a tree! Just a little tree right there!” 

“Thank you, Bucky.” Steve glared at the brunette. “But no, Tony I prefer drawing with charcoal. Painting is fine, but charcoal seems a little more… personal? I dunno, I like the connection to the page with charcoal, feel like I don’t get that with a paintbrush in my hand.”

“Huh.” Tony tilted his head curiously. “I uh– I never would have guessed that about you.”

“Well stick around and I’ll let you guess at a few more things.” Steve elbowed him lightly and Tony blushed to the tip of his ears. “We’ll see just how many answers about the mysterious Steve Rogers you can get before the night is over. Here’s a hint- you keep being sweet to me and I’ll tell you every single secret I have.” 

“Stevie doesn’t have any secrets.” Bucky stretched his arm out along the back of the booth, resting it lightly against Tony’s shoulders and reaching to tangle his fingers in Steve’s hair. “You know these corn fed All-American boys, Tony. Not a whole lot going on beneath that blonde hair. Just real pretty is all.” 

“Oh my god.” Tony grinned when Steve reached around him to smack Bucky upside his head. “Alright, so Steve is a Picasso-” Bucky snorted beer out of his nose and Steve turned bright red and Tony had no idea why. “–anyway, Steve’s an artist-turned-sports-guy and Bucky… really? Fed-Ex?”

“I’m ex-army.” Bucky supplied, shifting a little closer and smiling when Tony didn’t move away. “Got wounded, got my Purple Heart, got a medical discharge and came home. Didn’t really know what to do with myself afterwards, so Fed Ex was just a filler job and then I ended up at the news station.”

“Purple heart.” Tony repeated. “Can I ask why?”

“Bout got my arm tore off.” Bucky rolled up his left sleeve so Tony could see just the beginning of thick scars at his wrist. “Got these all the way up to my shoulder and into my chest. Don’t ask what happened, it’s not really a story for our first drink together.”

“Don’t let him act all modest.” Steve cut in. “He takes his shirt off any and every chance he can get. The ladies love the scars, he gets to act all dark and brooding and like a bad boy who will give them the night of their life but leave them broken hearted in the morning.”

“Ladies?” A sly look between the two of them. “Bucky, I didn’t take you as the type to prefer  _ladies_.”

“Shucks, sugar.” Bucky’s pale eyes lit in laughter. “I prefer ‘em all. All the pretty people. They don’t call me  _Bronco_ for nothing.”

“Why would they call you Bronco?”

“Because I give them the ride of their lives.” Bucky teased at the same time Steve nearly shouted, “Because he likes to get rode hard and put away wet!” and Bucky yelled back, “Damn it, Steve you don’t gotta sell me out like that!” 

“Oh god, I’m sorry I asked.” Tony stood up and stretched, collecting the empty bottles. “Another round, guys? I’ll buy this one.”

“Sure, Tony.”

“Thanks, Tony.”

As soon as Tony had headed for the bar, Bucky lowered his voice and asked, “I think it’s going okay, don’t you? Besides you and your dumb ass rode hard comment, seems like it’s all going okay, right?” 

“I think so.” Steve kissed him quickly, squeezing at Bucky’s thigh beneath the table. “Sorta surprised he said yes tonight though. Maybe my whole picture thing worked, huh? Santa must be listening.” 

“You’re so dumb.” Bucky shook his head and kissed him again. “I highly doubt it was you blurting out dumb things on air that made Tony say yes to a drink, but either way, I’m just glad he did.” 

“He’s great, right?” Steve asked admiringly. “Cute as hell and he’s got a great laugh and damn did you see his ass in those jeans?” 

“It kind of makes me sad he keeps sitting down.” Bucky said mournfully. “D’ya think we could talk him into getting all the beers just so I can watch him walk some more?” 

Their burst of laughter could be heard clear around the room and up at the bar, Tony smiled over the noise and motioned for three more beers. He glanced around at the random knick nacks and souvenirs littering the shelves while he waited, his eye catching a terribly cheesy snow globe. 

The name of the bar was painted in  _awful_ neon colors on the outside, and inside the globe there were three of the worst painted dogs “drinking” at a table, mouths open as if they were laughing. It was fantastically ugly and when Tony turned it upside down, it snowed glitter all over the dogs and made the entire scene even worse.

“Here’s your drinks.” the bartender handed him the beers. “Anything else?”  

“I want the snow globe too.” he said, sliding some cash across the bar. “It will make a perfectly awful Secret Santa Gift.”

*****************

*****************

By the end of the night, the conversation had turned away from work matters and more towards personal things, Bucky sharing stories of growing up in Brooklyn, Steve talking about how he got into art. After some coaxing, Tony finally talked a little about his last bad break up, admitting that he hadn’t managed to find the time to date at all since then, even though it was almost three years previous.

“Three years.” Bucky whistled. “That’s alright Tony, I haven’t been with anyone in a while either.”

“Fuck you, Bucky.” Steve kicked him from underneath the table. “We just hooked up the other night.”

“Well maybe you should have lasted longer and I would have remembered it.” Bucky countered and Tony coughed loudly.

“Well, I think that’s my cue. You guys gonna start talking about your hook ups and I’m gonna head home.”

“Aw Tony, you don’t gotta go yet.” Steve frowned, but made room for Tony to scoot out of the booth. “Stay a little longer, huh? We can find someplace else with some live music or–” 

 _God_ , it was tempting but Tony still shook his head, tossing a few more bills on the table as a tip for their waitress. “I’m pretty wiped guys. I’ll see you both on Monday?”

“Sure thing, sweet thing.” Bucky tipped his head back and smiled flirtatiously. “So where did we land on that kiss good night?”

“I didn’t know a kiss goodnight was in the conversation.” Tony grinned as he shrugged into his jacket. “When exactly did that part happen?”

“Sometime between round four and five.” Steve supplied, standing up and stretching as well. “I don’t actually know if you were here for the conversation but Bucky and I  _definitely_ decided that a goodnight kiss was in order.”

“Well, do I get a vote in this?”

“Not if you vote no.” Bucky deadpanned and Tony chucked a napkin at him.

“I think I’m a little too drunk to be making big decisions like whether or not to kiss my co workers.” He stated. “I’ll see you boys Monday.”

“Bye Tony.” 

“See you later, Tony.”

Tony waved as he went, his cheeks a little pink when they blew him kisses.

“Damn, he still thinks we’re joking.” Bucky slumped back in the booth. “You see that? He still thinks we’re just messing with him.” 

“Okay here’s the plan.” Steve cleared his throat decisively. “Tomorrow is the Secret Santa Gift exchange, right? So everyone will exchange gifts, then we can go to the office and give him the one from us–”

“–we haven’t gotten him anything.” Bucky interjected. “Remember?” 

“Oh for fucks sake.” Steve threw his hands in the air. “How did we forget to do that?! We got to get him something quick!” 

“Okay okay.” Bucky looked around the bar. “We can probably find something here, right? I’m sure they sell nice gifts.” 

“Almost definitely not.” 

“ANYWAY!” He said loudly. “So we get him something, then go to the office to give it to him and then what?” 

“And then we just kiss him.” Steve declared. “Just grab him and kiss him and if he doesn’t get the hint  _then_ , it’s a lost cause.”

“Right. Lost cause.” Bucky waited a beat and added, “You coming over tonight?”

“The only reason I drink at this shitty bar is because it’s close to your place.” Steve elbowed him teasingly. “Waiting on you, weatherman.”

“Doofus.” Bucky muttered and grabbed his jacket. “I don’t even know why I like you.”

“It’s cause I sex you up.”

“Ugh, probably.”


	4. Chapter 4

Tony knew right away that he had missed a memo or email or  _something_ , because he walked into the Christmas party wearing a fitted red velvet blazer and coordinating pants, a crisp white tie and fancy shoes and everyone else was wearing outfits that made Steve’s light-up sweater from earlier in the week seem tame by comparison. **  
**

“What in the—” he almost walked into the door when he spied Pepper in a floor length gown of the tackiest velour he’d ever seen, looking as if she’d cut a dress from shag carpet and then hung ornaments in various places. “ _Pepper_?”

“Tony!” She skipped over and kissed his cheek, nearly gouging his eye out with one of the pipe cleaners in her hair, the bright green things twisted to resemble a tree. “You look wonderful!”

“Um, you look–” he stammered about for a good word, landing on– “Well. you certainly look…  _Wow_. Look at that material, that is something else.” 

“Tony!” Sam was wearing a literal tree, a green sweater with branches and pine cones crafted on, the whole mess sprayed with some of that fake snow and dusted with glitter and the abomination was so fluffy that Sam actually had to walk with his arms out a little. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry.” Tony gulped. “Merry Christmas. Yep.” 

Various other shouts from the members of the weekend news team, a few hugs and a slaps on the back and Tony had to work hard to keep even a semi straight face as he worked his way through the room.

“Tony!” Bucky and Steve had come in coordinating “naughty and nice” sweaters, or at least that was probably the plan, but somehow they had both ended up with “naughty” sweaters in neon pink and green and good  _god_ did it make Tony’s eyes hurt.

“Hey guys.” Tony looked them up and down and then glanced around the room again. “Missed a memo about an ugly sweater party, did I?”

“I dunno, that velvet’s pretty bad.” Steve cringed a little. “You aren’t as tacky as Sam, but definitely getting close.”

Tony’s jaw dropped. “This is a Tom Ford! It cost me over three thousand dollars!”

“Shit.” Bucky’s face went a little pale. “Well I mean, it looks great on you.”

“Wow you look–” Steve nodded quickly. “–so great. Wow Tony. I definitely love it.”

“Barbarians.” Tony muttered, and snatched a flute of champagne from a passing waiter. “Don’t know a Tom Ford suit when you see one. I’ll have you know, velvet is  _very_ in this year.”

“Uh, sure thing, sweet thing.” Bucky offered an apologetic smile and kicked Steve in the shin until he apologized too. “So. Who’d you get for Secret Santa?”

“Carol.” Tony nodded over towards the blonde that hosted their weekend show. “And I had zero idea what to get her, so I bought her the same thing I buy Pepper every year– a certificate to a ridiculously over priced day spa.”

“Carol doesn’t strike me as the girly type.” Steve frowned over at her. “I ran into her at the gym one time? Definitely saw her bench pressing her body weight and then some. Sam asked her to arm wrestle a few weeks ago and when she took off her jacket and flexed, he backed down.”

“I believe every word of that.” Tony grinned. “But girly or not, everyone needs a good massage and a foot rub, right? No one’s going to turn that down.”

“Shoot, I could use a good foot rub.” Bucky slanted a look at Steve. “Hint hint.”

“Your feet are gross, I’m not touching them.” Steve shot back. “Go get a professional to get rid of those calluses and then we’ll talk.”

“Oh my god, so rude.” Bucky muttered. “Hey Tony, listen, about last night. Me and Stevie were talking and we think that maybe you think something is–”

“Time for Secret Santa!” Pepper climbed up on a chair in that terrible dress and waved her arms to get everyone’s attention. “Head towards the Christmas tree so we can start passing out presents!”

Whatever Bucky was going to say was lost in the moment as the party collectively surged towards the tree in the foyer, and Tony tried not to make himself nervous about it. They had had a good time together, right? He didn’t think he’d stopped laughing for more than a minute, Steve and Bucky had certainly been hands on with him, sitting close and putting an arm around his shoulders and that sort of thing.

 _Oh no_ , maybe they’d decided he wasn’t a good fit, or that they were happier being exclusive or maybe they thought it would be too weird because he was technically their boss or maybe they had decided on any on of the other thousand reasons that hooking up with Tony was a terrible idea, or–

 _Okay well that’s enough of that_. Tony put the thoughts firmly from his head in time to grin down at Maria as she announced that she was his secret santa and pushed a present into his hands. Then he had to track down Carol and give her that present and then he was cornered by first Pepper and then Sam who gave him a bottle of his favorite scotch and season tickets for his favorite team and after that, it was just one thing after another, passing from person to person exchanging greetings and hugs and exclaiming over presents and Tony probably would have made it through the evening without even  _thinking_ about Steve and Bucky again but then….

….Then Tony happened to catch sight of them at the far end of the room, tearing into the presents they’d gotten each other for Secret Santa. Bucky pulled out what looked like a set of books and he kissed Steve happily as he started to flip through them. Steve opened his box and whatever was in it made his jaw drop, and he pulled Bucky into a kiss that was so obviously tender and loving that Tony had to look away, his throat closing up tight.

He was being  _ridiculous_ , of course. It wasn’t their fault that he had fairly unexpected but still sort of strong feelings for them. Not their fault that he’d been reading too far into their flirting and teasing for the past several months. Just because everyone  _thought_ they were hooking up didn’t mean that Steve and Bucky felt anything at all for him, and Tony had no right to assume that they did.

It was fine.

In fact, it was so fine that Tony slipped out of the party and back to his office to sit and ponder exactly how  _fine_ it all was.

 _God_ , He was being ridiculous.

The party carried on without him, alcohol flowing more freely now that the gifts had been given. The karaoke machine made an appearance and someone who with a terrible Brooklyn accent treated the entire party to a rather  _enthusiastic_ version of Santa Baby as people whistled and cheered.

It was definitely Steve who yelled “ _Encore! Everyone loves you!_ ” and that was enough for Tony.

He shut his door, and pulled out a stack of paper work for next week. He’d give this whole thing an hour, make his rounds through the party again, and get the hell out of there.

****************

****************

Tony lasted no more than twenty minutes alone before someone came round looking for him, and of course he had the worst luck in the world, because the  _someone_ came in the form of a very hot weatherman and an equally hot sports anchor.

“Tony?” Steve knocked first, and Bucky followed him through the door. “Hey! I thought you disappeared, what are you doing back here? You know there’s a party going on right?” 

“Just getting some work done.” He managed a half smile in their direction, even if Steve’s joke was lame. “Bucky was that  _you_ up there asking Santa for all that stuff? Maybe ask him for singing lessons.”

“Aw shucks, baby you don’t like my crooning?” Bucky pretend pouted, sticking his bottom lip out. “Well if you stop working and come hang out maybe I’ll sing something different. Someone brought out the good champagne now so everyone’s nice and drunk and people are dancin’…c’mon sugar, don’t be a party pooper.”

“It’s weird to say sugar and pooper in the same sentence.” Steve informed him, jabbing Bucky in the ribs. “Really though, come on Tony. Being the station manager doesn’t mean you need to hide back here and be responsible. Not during the Christmas party. Just come hang out with us.”

“Look.” Tony closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath.  _Might as well make this easier on everyone_. “Look, you two are great, you really are and I ejnoy spending time with you.” 

“…But?” Steve asked slowly.

“…. _but_.” Tony sighed loudly. “It’s just– you both are great and you’re funny and when you’re not ruining my broadcast by forgetting to turn off your mics or whatever, you’re actually great at your jobs and Channel 8’s ratings have sky rocketed since you joined the team and–”

“Tony, you’re sayin’ a whole lotta stuff that isn’t actually saying nothin’ at all.” Bucky interrupted. ‘What’re you tryin’ to tell us?”

“You’re cute together.” Tony finally said, sounding more than a little defeated. “You two are  _very_ cute together and ever though it was fun to go out for drinks, I don’t think it’ll happen again. I appreciate the invite to hang out and everything, but I don’t really want to be a third wheel to your romance and if I’m being honest–” he winced. “–if I’m being  _honest,_ I read a little too far into the flirting so we need to just–” Tony held up his hands. “– you know what I’m saying?”

“Oh my god.” Bucky tried to sound very serious, but he was fighting a smile. “Are you breaking up with us?”

“It’s because of all your terrible jokes last night.” Steve deadpanned. “Is that it, Tony? Is it because of Bucky’s terrible jokes? It’s okay, you can tell us.”

“I’m being serious.” Tony scratched through his goatee uncomfortably. “I’m being  _serious_. I don’t want to get in the middle of anything that you have, and if there’s any truth at all to what you say to me when you’re flirting or whatever… I just don’t know if I can handle being a hook up or an occasional threesome. So thanks but no thanks. I can’t do it.” 

There. It was all out in the open now, and Tony held his breath waiting for the inevitable–

“So you do want to have a threesome with us?” Steve cocked an eyebrow. “Is that what I heard?” 

“Damn Stevie.” Bucky sighed. “Even I know you’re missin’ the point. Tony’s saying he doesn’t want to hang out any more because he thinks we’re dating and would only want to sleep with him sometimes.”

“He think’s we’re dating? You think we’re dating?” Blankly this time, Steve’s blue eyes flying open wide. “We aren’t– we aren’t dating.”

“You aren’t dating.” Tony repeated. “Are you  _kidding_ me?”

“Well I mean,” Bucky took Steve’s hand, linking their fingers together. “We’re sorta dating, right Stevie? Ain’t been with no one but you for a while now, we’re sorta goin’ steady, right?”

“I–I guess.” Steve looked down at their linked hands and then back up at Bucky. “You want to go out with me?”

“Yeah!” Bucky’s whole face lit up. “Do you want to go out with me?!”

“Of course I do!” Steve cried and Tony rolled his eyes hard enough to hurt as they kissed and then kissed again.

“Okay, let me get this straight.” Tony motioned between them. “You two weren’t dating?”

“Nope!”

“But both of you  _wanted_ to date?”

With goofy smiles– “Yeah!”

“And neither of you said anything?” He pressed. “Anything at all, even though you spend  _all_ this time together.”

“Guess not.”

“Wow.” Tony didn’t know whether to laugh or throw his hands up in exasperation. “Just  _wow_.”

“Okay but back to this whole thing.” Bucky pulled away from Steve and wrinkled his nose in Tony’s direction. “You didn’t think we liked you? Cause we’re crazy about you. Like,  _crazy_ about you. Been trying to figure out how to ask you out for ages now. Why do you think we flirt and say all those things and ask you out for drinks all the time?” 

“How were you going to ask me out if you guys weren’t even going out?” Tony wondered. “How was that supposed to work?”

“I’ll admit it wasn’t our best thought out plan.” Steve blushing was frankly adorable, and Tony couldn’t help smiling at it. “But our general idea was that if you were down to spend time with us then maybe the three of us could–” a vague motion. “– you know?” another motion. “–like that? You see what I’m saying?”

“You aren’t sayin’ anything at all, just waving your hands around like a loon.” Bucky scolded lightly. “Look Tony, what we’re trying to say is, we want you to be with us. I gotta tell ya, sometimes it felt a little weird thinking about me and Stevie dating, but it  _never_ felt weird to think about me and Stevie and  _you_.” 

“I–” Tony opened his mouth and then closed his mouth and then opened it again and just left it hanging a little because he didn’t really know what to say. “You guys want to be with me?”

“Course we want to be with you.” Bucky winked. “It’s supposed to be HO HO HO not just HO HO, ain’t that right?. Three’s a party!”

“Three’s a  _crowd_ , Buck.” Steve corrected. “That’s the saying– three’s a crowd.”

“It’s not a crowd if you get a big enough bed.” he shot back. “Or we could just sleep on the floor! Why are you trying to ruin this, Stevie!”

“Holy fuck, it’s a good thing you’re hot.” Steve dragged him in for another kiss. “So what do you say, Tony? Think you could handle giving us a try? We aren’t always this goofy.” 

“Or oblivious.” Bucky added. “Just a little dumb when it comes to relationships, I guess. What do you think? Wanna try us out?” 

“What do I think? You guys just figured out you actually like each other and now you’re inviting me along too?” This time Tony did throw his hands in the air. “What am I supposed to say to that?”

Bucky and Steve exchanged a look. “Well, you could say…yes?”

“Fine.” Tony stood and grabbed his coat. “My place is only about a few miles up the way. Let’s go.”

********************

********************

The taxi ride went by in a blur of greedy kisses and grasping hands, neither Steve nor Bucky wasting any time getting well acquainted with Tony’s mouth and any part of him they could reach without actually having to take clothes  _off_.

Tony threw some money at the driver and unlocked the door to his building and they were all over him again once the elevator doors had closed, Bucky sucking a kiss onto his throat, Steve palming over his ass, Tony gasping and trying to kiss back and honestly just trying to get his head to stop spinning because he still couldn’t quite figure out how he went from attending a company Christmas party to trying to get naked with two of his coworkers.

“Nice place.” Steve commented, tearing off his own jacket and tugging at Tony’s as they backed through the door to the apartment. “You got a good view of the city?”

“ _Mmmph_.” Tony said over a kiss from Bucky, shoving his tongue into the brunettes mouth and  _moaning_ when Bucky sucked at it in a clear hint of what they could do later. “Yep, good view, can see all of downtown from the balcony.”

“Oooh, a balcony.  _Fancy_.” Bucky started pulling at Tony’s shirt buttons bending to drag his teeth over Tony’s chest, flicking his tongue over sensitive nipples and pulling at them with his lips until Tony was panting and too busy trying to arch his back so Bucky would give him  _more_ to remember that they were supposed to be heading for a bedroom.

Steve didn’t forget though, and wove his fingers into Bucky’s hair to bring him back up, planting a bruising kiss on his mouth before ordering, “Let Tony show us where a bed is, then you can maul him all you want.”

“Please don’t maul me.” Tony’s laugh was a little breathless. “These are very expensive clothes. Also, my bedroom is this way.”

Down a hall and into the master suite, and Tony fell back onto the bed with Steve on top of him, the big blonde pushing his legs apart and grinding into him hard enough to make Tony  _shout_ , but even that was muffled when a suddenly  _very_ naked Bucky was kissing him again.

Steve was unceremoniously shoved to the side and Bucky wasted no time rolling Tony on top, lifting his hips and rubbing against him languidly, nibbling at Tony’s bottom lip and sliding their tongues together.

“How did you get naked so fast?” Tony panted, dragging his nails down the ridiculous muscles in Bucky’s abdomen and closing his palm around the heavy cock, stroking it lightly as Bucky hissed into his mouth. 

Steve bent over the two of them, mouthing hot kisses down Tony’s back, fitting his big hands to the slim hips and pressing them both further into the mattress. “Bucky doesn’t waste time when it comes to important things.” he teased, pulling at Tony’s pants until they came down his legs to his ankles and could he tossed onto the floor. “You should take a hint and get naked too.” 

“How are we–” A gasp as Bucky’s teeth found his neck. “–how do you want to–” a groan, Steve kneading at his ass. “– how are we doing this?” Tony finally managed. “Because there’s no way both of you are getting in this.” A firm smack at his own rear and Bucky ruined their next kiss by laughing out loud.

“Tony.” Greedy for another turn, Steve rolled him off of Bucky, gathering Tony up onto his lap and kissing him soundly, freeing one of his hands to stroke over Bucky’s thigh, fingers skating over the hard length. “This is our first night together, no way we were even going to try and suggest something like that. Don’t worry.” 

“Don’t even gotta do nothing real tonight.” Bucky sat up on his knees to press up against Tony’s back, sandwiching him between two warm, hard bodies. “We can just use our hands or–” he trailed down Tony’s stomach, trying to get his hand around both him  _and_ Steve. “– or our mouths or just get off like this–” he thrust up against Tony’s back and groaned quietly. “Whatever you want to do.” 

“Bucky give’s great blowjobs.” Steve added, leaning over Tony’s shoulder to give Bucky a hungry kiss. “Or if you wanna fuck one of us–”

“You guys  _switch_?!” Tony didn’t mean for his voice to squeak but it definitely squeaked when he felt both of the thick cocks twitch against him. “Oh my  _god_.” 

“Sometimes.” Bucky confirmed, pushing blankets off the bed so there was more room, laying back in the pillows and motioning for Steve to bring Tony down towards him. “But tonight we can do whatever you want, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Tony breathed, dizzy with lust, more than a little tipsy, head still spinning over how  _fast_ this had all happened. “But- but we’re not just hooking up, right?Right? I don’t want to spoil anything, but I need–”

“Shhh, baby.” Steve brought him close for a slow, sweet kiss. “Trust me. Trust  _us_. This is happening fast right now, but in the morning it can happen real slow and we can work through some things then, alright?” 

“Then we can get breakfast and talk about our feelings and all that, cause me and Stevie ain’t had that talk yet, and the three of us sure haven’t had it yet and it definitely needs to happen.” Bucky coaxed Tony further down and Steve came too, his big body caging them both in “And tomorrow night you both can come over to my place–”

“–and my place the night after.” Steve finished. “Then we can start over again here. Took me and Bucky long enough to get our shit figured out Tony, we’re not going to waste any time with you alright?”

“It doesn’t have to be anythin’ super serious yet.” Bucky added. “But it’s not just hookin’ up either, okay?”

“Okay.” Tony turned his head for a kiss Steve gladly gave, then bent and kissed Bucky too. “Bucky, why don’t you show me how good your blow job game is?” 

“It’s just as good as Steve’s Google game.” Bucky promised and Tony  _howled_ with laughter. 

*******************

*******************

It wasn’t until later, after they had come together and then come  _down_ together and were collapsed on Tony’s bed, curled up close and tight that Tony mumbled half asleep– “I bought the ugliest snow globe at the bar the other night. I figured I’d give it to you guys as a joke, like a ‘hey remember that time we went drinking’ gag gift.” 

Bucky started laughing first, and then Steve, louder and louder until the bed was practically shaking with it.

“What?” Tony elbowed them. “Why are you laughing?! What’s so funny?” 

“We panicked when we realized we hadn’t gotten you a present like Pepper had told us too.” Steve admitted first. “So we went up to the bar to see what they had, thinking we’d get something that would at least make you laugh, right?” 

“Steve picked out the snow globe.” Bucky cut in. “It’s th’ worst thing I’ve ever scene but never laughed so hard in my life. It’s at my place still wrapped cause we were too embarrassed to give it to you in front’a people.”

“Are you  _kidding_ me?!”

“Figured we’d save it till later and then say it was a bonus secret santa present. 

“OH MY GOD!”

“This was a better present anyway.” Bucky threw his leg over Tony’s side and snuggled even closer. “Forget the snow globes. Who wants snowglobes when you can have sex instead?”

“No no.” Tony shook his head firmly. “You can  _not_ call us spending the night together a secret santa present.”

“Why not?” Steve yawned and burrowed tight into his back and Tony  _squawked_ as he found himself in the middle of two very  _very_ clingy men. “Not like anyone’s every gonna top this, right? Best secret santa gift ever. Got naked  _and_ got off.”

“You two are sort of the worst”

“Ugh, we know. But we’re hot so it’s alright.”

“That’s… yeah alright. That’s pretty true.” 

****************

**Epilogue**

****************

Bucky gave his Christmas Eve weather report as cheerfully as he always did, letting a hint of that Brooklyn accent roll the edges of his words, winking and flirting with the camera as if he could actually see the viewers, and either completely oblivious to the fact that he had a massive hickey on his neck, or too happy about it to care. 

Steve hadn’t stopped laughing yet, a hand over his mouth and shoulders shaking when Bucky tugged at his collar in what should have been an innocent move, but looked  _highly_ suspicious since all it did was show off the rather impressive bruise on his neck. 

Tony was face palming behind the camera’s, horrified that no one had caught the hickey before Bucky went on screen, and both Pepper and Sam looked like they  _thoroughly_ disapproved. 

They went to a short commercial and one of the girls from make up came sprinting up to Bucky with the only thing she had handy– a fuzzy green scarf with red pom poms left over from the ugly sweater party. 

Steve lost it completely then, putting his head down on the desk and nearly crying with laughter, but Bucky simply wound the scarf around his neck six or seven times and when the camera came back, delivered the rest of his report with a perfectly straight face. 

Tony gave up and laughed too, because  _yes_ those boys were dorks and  _yes_ they were sort of the worst but Steve had been right. This whole shenanigan was sort of the best secret santa deal  _ever_. 


End file.
